Never Said I Didn't Chapter 8

This picture makes me giggle every time I look at it!

Chapter 8

After practice I lose my shirt and wait for her outside the locker rooms. It won’t hurt being half naked, right? I mean, if she wanted to be half naked I wouldn’t complain, so . . .

She’s walking with her teammate, Claire, their cleats hitting the concrete as they get closer. “Hi, Edward,” Claire says, with a flourishy wave, looking me up and down.

“Um, hi,” I say, looking at Bella though speaking to Claire.

“You need help in the shower?” she asks, giggling.

“Not unless Bella’s available,” I quip.

“Lucky bitch.” Claire bumps Bella with her shoulder playfully and saunters away.

“What are you doing?” Bella questions suspiciously, trying to avert her eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, pulling my hat off and messing up my hair. I tuck the brim into the back of my pants.

“You don’t know what . . . are you kidding me?”

“No. I have no clue what you’re—”

I can’t finish because Jake shows up. Perfect. He must have been watching her practice. What a loser. Then again, if Bella hung around watching me practice, I wouldn’t mind. But she has her own practice. This is stupid.

“It’s hot out here,” Bella says, wiping her brow dramatically. She’s a terrible actress.

“Sure is,” Jake agrees.

“Wish I was a boy so I could just . . .” Bella mimes whipping off her shirt.

“It is nice; you should try it,” Jake says and takes off his shirt with a wink. It’s not even pervy when he does it. And, damn, he’s built. I knew he was, but this is ridiculous. At least he’s shorter than I am.

Emmett, my team captain, bellows my name as he comes upon us. “Yo, why are we getting naked?”

“Them. Not me,” Bella says innocently. “Edward might know, though.”

Emmett looks to me, and I manage, “I was just hot and, um, yeah.” Bella’s turned me into an imbecile.

“Me, too.” Emmett smoothes his shirt over his head, and Bella smiles, taking a long, hard look at all three of us. I didn’t think over this well enough. 

Never Said I Didn't is on the Poll this Week!

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Never Said I Didn't Chapter 7

Chapter 7

We move quietly into my bedroom and slip inside undetected. There aren’t restrictions on Bella’s visits, but I don’t want to upset Dad about anything else.

Bella saunters to my bed. She caps my pen and stacks my book and papers before placing them on my small desk. She sits back against the wall and tucks her hands between her double red-striped, tube-socked feet. I wish I had a camera in my room to capture her there. Her simplicity is beautiful, and the way she fits on my bed and in the mess of my stuff makes me feel tight in my stomach.

“Your house smells good,” she says.

“Dad made dinner,” I say with a frown.

“Oh no. Poor Carlisle. He can’t catch a break.”

“Like father, like son,” I say and sit beside Bella, slumping on the same pillow that rests behind her. “Remember when our family went with yours to the lake for that fishing thing?”

“Yeah,” she says, smiling and looking at me. Her grin lights up her face, and I want to touch her, hold her, so I do. I slip my hand in hers again, this time feeling the curves of her fingers.

“My Dad was so mad when he made that fish and no one would eat it,” I say, snickering.

“It was terrible. I don’t even know what he could’ve done to have made it so awful.”

We giggle side by side at the memory, her body wiggling next to mine, and I’m bombarded with memories of Bella here in my bed doing this same thing—talking and laughing, being with me, but this is different. Because the truth is out now, and it creates an ache in my heart. I want this to be what it used to be, plus more.

I hold her hand to my chest and cover it with my other. I wish she could feel the beat of my heart and know it’s for her, know that she’s the reason I’m getting through any of this.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, voice soft and comforting.

“No, just having you here is good.”

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 6

Chapter 6

“Why are you still kissing Jake when you know I like you? We could try this, Bella. I want to try it.” I punctuate my words with a squeeze to her hand.

“You're not ready for this,” she mumbles.

“What does that even mean?”

“Exactly.”

She’s so frustrating. “I'm so tired of this. Will you just speak English? I kiss you once, and it's like you've gone crazy. Like you're this nutzo, kissing other guys, changing your college plans.”

“Poor Edward doesn't get what he wants,” she laments.

“No, I don't. Not lately, anyway. I have nothing I want. Except for this. Right here, right now.” I tug on her hand and stroke her wrist with my finger. “But it's temporary and not for lack of trying.”

“Yeah, I know.”

I sneak a peek, and she’s wide eyed now, peering down at our joined hands. “Do you have to say it with such disdain?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Is it so revolting that I want to be with you? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you kissed me back. You had a big ol’ dopey grin on your face like I had made your world.”

“Before you crushed it.”

“I'm sorry I said anything. I wish I hadn’t even opened my mouth other than to kiss you. That's all my mouth wants to do anymore, anyway.”

She inhales sharply and looks my way.



Don't Give Up on Us by The Maine

I am weakness, I am greatness
I'm anything you want me to be
I am wasted, And I'll make this
The anthem for a dying breed

See the light in the night,
When you're fading away
Trust in us,
We're all that you've got these days
Take a look inside my heart
Oh, let's get carried away

Don't you dare,
Don't you ever give up,
Don't you ever give up, Oh, Oh, Oh
Don't you dare,
Don't you ever give up,
Don't you ever give up on us, my dear

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Time flies now that Bella and I make sense again. We do the usual: hang, talk, play games. She especially likes to kick my butt in nerd-it-up ones like Boggle and Scrabble.

We sit on my unmade bed staring at the Boggle board. I have a list of ten words and don't see anything else. She, however, is scribbling furiously. I can't be mad, though, because she's adorable when she concentrates like this—her nose scrunching up and her eyebrows wiggling around. But I especially like when she gets frustrated with herself and her tongue peeks out for a split second before she bites her lip.

“Time!” I say, checking my alarm clock.

“You start,” she says dejectedly. Clearly, she was not paying as close attention to me as I was to her or she'd already know she's the queen of this round.

We run through our list of words, and I end up with one that she doesn't have. I laugh at my pathetic-ness, and she joins in too until we sigh into a quiet calmness. I missed this. I smile at her and enjoy the simplicity of our relationship and the fact that we can be silent together and it’s not awkward. That, I’ve discovered, is rare. 

 

Pictures of You by The Last Goodbye

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She’s on the pitcher’s mound, ball in hand, eyeing the catcher. She nods, sets herself up like I’ve seen her do in her backyard a million times, and lobs the ball forward.

The batter swings and misses, and I applaud for Bella, calling her name. It’s then I notice the hulking figure in the stands lower down. He swivels his head back toward me and waves. Jake. Of course. He claps as well, and the two of us cheer her on.

She’s got the ball again and rubs it with both hands, her glove tucked beneath her armpit. She sets up, looks toward us once, and drives the ball toward the hitter.

Crack!

The batter’s running, hauling ass to first, then second. Bella’s low to the ground, leaning side to side, keeping on her toes, waiting to see if the action will come her way. Eventually, it does as the ball makes is way in-field. The softball’s flying fast, straight for her.

“Back it up!” I shout. “She’s going for it. Be ready!”

With a backward leap, Bella snags the ball and touches back, swiping her glove on the player’s thigh.

The noise of the crowd pauses as we wait for the umpire’s call.

“Out!” he shouts, and Bella’s glove flies into the air as the rest of the teammates rush her. She’s just won the game for her team. Dammit, she’s good. I love to watch her play. So passionate. She’s always been that way. Even when she was five and we were in t-ball together. She was competitive and wanted to win. But it went beyond that and still does—she wants to get better, to improve. I do, too. In more ways than one.

I stand and cheer, waving my team-issued hat in the air when I realize Jake’s vacated the stands. He’s on the field, and Bella’s in his arms.

This week sucks.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I catch her before our game, though, and walk with her to the buses. She’s got her gear on, but her hat’s missing, and her hair is down, swaying as she walks. It’s so long now, it nearly reaches her butt. Her, um, nice butt. Wow, with the softball uniform you can really see the shape and everything. I shake my head and jog up to her.

“You still mad?” I call out like an ass. What else should I say?

She turns on me and narrows her eyes.

“Okay, yes. You got a ballpark for me yet?”

“Yankee Stadium,” she deadpans and digs in her bag, pulling out an apple and taking a massive bite.

“Got one of those for me?” I know she does; she always does.

“Not today,” she mumbles.

“Hey, Bella, come on. This sucks. I miss you.”

Mr. Right by A Rocket to the Moon

Maybe I'm your Mr. Right
Baby, maybe I'm the one you like
Maybe I'm a shot in the dark
And you're the morning light
Whoa

Maybe this is sad but true
Baby, maybe you've got nothing to lose
You could be the best of me
When I'm the worst for you

You can always change your mind
And you, can't change mine
No you can't change mine